writings - july 2008 to may 2009

second addition of writings, please leave a note.

gypsy
may 25th, 2009

on my hands and knees i live through your attention, we strive to be all that we can be for minutes of flesh. wishing to make each other feel worse, skewed limitations, skewered limerance, schooled lively hood. every part of me is absence, weak parts of you bleed my innocence. lethargic lullabies form tired eyes, infatuated with the past. drink and sleep, breathe so deep. i still feel everything, bite my lips and make me teary, only imagining where i'll be when you rot away. buried in pink hair and blue eyes.

evening
may 18th, 2009

here with me i would write you the prettiest songs, lifting the effect of everyone's wrongs. i bathe in your stripes because they call so loud. my so called nickle filled veins will pitch our shroud. like translucent harnesses, keeping us nautical miles apart. words stapled shut by butterflies, the ones straight from the heart. bestow your beauty, to the names written on my wrist. not a second short of a quick breath, for the ones who've simply withered in the mist.

claus
march 10th, 2009

presented to a room full of rats, impaired sentences are driven
the judges stitch my words on a hospital table
corpse filled and whore thrilled monologues were given
the juries on the topics of cigarettes that she will smoke
the breaths of black that fill her lungs will be liven
injure such ventricles with lonesome fingertips
carried through the dusk by ants, a new procession
living a callous heave on a dry repressive throne
the clergy of hell

listen
march 10th, 2009

the next step would be tearing my grip of color and analyzing dim monochromatic lullabies,
at best singing my heartstrings through minors and hardwood,
standing dockside staring into reflections of the 90's,
reminiscing my guts, acting on hasty decisions
smiling, i see through you like a hand on my leg
thinking of what storm we'll wind into tomorrow
lips are locked with teeth, legs wrapped up like saviors
love stretched across blue walls, kissing a bedside angel
veins pump like gasoline, i'm all of out death
a fairy tale rewritten through a notebook, the last chapter on my forearm
fuck everything

march
march 9th, 2009

i am the 6:00 sunset in your mirror, the hair on pillow horizon, the bed sheet ridden calamity, the lonesome morning beach defector, the scent of living, the fragile teddy bear, the evening necklace, the heavy eyes set on drown, the reoccurring spill, the tangoed film strip, the denim floor, the sudden choke, the forever negative, i am always with you

revenir
february 26th, 2009

set forth canals of gold, they payed fewer for paved futures.
at least admit the posterior of superiority, demolishing,
such grounds to tread,
and such sights of thread, or pertaining to.
unwound the color of your hair, appear luminous.
drag me down to touch, more denim tight.
undo, undo, undo, how battery secrete.
a believer of innocence, but oh so repetitious.

g.f.d.
december 11th, 2008

an instant flash of my antique fragility
i'm driving to find out why you are
cursed labeling my fingers forth
labeling my fingers fifth
living to a black hair dye blessing
a public breathing of chlorine
effortless yet emotional animosity

strawbarrier
november 25th, 2008

staring to gain warmth, passive bone crushing flow
peach contours so lovely, lips so dry
such comparisons of youth models, you are
mutual yet open hearted towards myself
grasping dreams through indifference
adoring apathetic anesthetic
she's quieter tracing tension between us
absentee

today
october 15th, 2008

we feed dying organisms with colder bodies.
our will to live prayers are funding landscapes.
i'm strapping myself to stars in stars.
you are not a
you are not an
you are not another
you are not amalgamation
you are deceit
you are disease
you are deficiency
you are destruction

1990
october 6th, 2008

not one glitter of hope on her nails as i'm numb against a bed room door, omniscient and transitory to grab every piece of cloth to soak up myself dry. release the weak of the catch in your eyes, to close mine and open the floor. living the fall to thrill others heartache and euphoria.

journal composite
october 4th, 2008

black cat allergenic glares vs. stray dog photogenic stares
breathe rings in alcoholic mists, first in line patterns emerge
hair tangling fainting motions collide with archers
dreams about feline black lung blades of white
everything is wrapped around your innocence
drifting over a purple topaz sea
obvious,
sexually virtuous,
empty and luminous,
dying but amorous,
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.
breathe me.

morning
september 29th, 2008

wrap me up in pages from your diaries, i'm sleeping for a living
te amo

standa
september 25th, 2008

diagnosed with death in my fists but still counting my own fingers, i am so lost in my putridity, continuously swimming with contamina, plastic air from my lungs to end haste, tyrannical ransoms, reluctant hellos, smog blankets, chloroform bandanas. i read days as pages and seconds as lines but they're missing, pencil lead veins could save lives

untitled
september 11th, 2008

my body is 17 miles machine,
brunette eyes piercing me into stasis.
unlike myself, your collisions swallow/existence measured in eye shutters.
ruiner, ruin her.

muscle
september 5th, 2008

i will always be,
the horses entangled in their stables,
and all dancers asphyxiated with lust.
tyrants are breathing ash,
while perfections turn into flaws.
such skies become televisions,
and our children are eating dust.
every worm procreated our friends,
while every rope wound your ribbons.
in love with you.

lonesome
september 1st, 2008

picking sevenths opening keys to make me cry star tattoos
when i see their names etched into milligram bugs
millions thread over multicolor skies
glare through silhouette panic curtains
life parted on the sides of fainting
assorted cache leading to unorganized complies
such terror in a boys unsavvy eyes

bolero
august 28th, 2008

sorroweater, i am experiencing counterpoint nostalgia
everything i've ever done for you is stripping the skin from my teeth
such characterized nonlinear fiction, losing my way upon nightmares
spider sewn dreams so lavender, such golden ropes
earthly tinges at touch, so anxiety ridden
so calm, yet explosive, but translucent
the sleep deprived mornings awake to a flock of snuff
halos of envy hover the fear in my heart

auricular
august 7th, 2008

ultimately, no matter how many times i change my appearance i will always look the same, a disgusting inner beauty bug, glory thieved cut up frantic body, colorful inlying horrific monstrosity, gutted lovedrunk rehabilitate on a path to abaddon, we're suffocating on every page of the english language

august
august 3rd, 2008

all in a year and i wonder why the worms haven't pulled you down
mark the face of panic from the hair of a ghost
i feel words like cobwebs, such an angelic tragedy
fe-malefic, scouring through wreckages of stomachs
skeletal skinny bone yards, pasty white skies
contouring my every aura, we de-contrast

the comma toss
july 29th, 2008

dimly lit, upset, sheep fed, cabin fever, mild, confused, half hearted, gray, bleak, depressed, scattered cards, broken pieces, jigsaw puzzles, unused cds, dirty dishes, infinite picks, pirated dvds, family made cameras, faithless, cheap candles, model angels, expendables, pill bottles, unanswered phones, poor quality cells, empty cases, large shells

spell
july 23rd, 2008

you fell into defacing and woke up in love
explain chthonic minds to extending bleach
it's survival of the fittest and i've got the fucking gun

my arteries are forgotten when you're not a pill in my head
catch all pale-ridden breaths
i'm in the vein of a fire breather.

public
july 15th, 2008

dear tomorrow, if you inject me with today i'm just going to turn out like yesterday, i'd trade all happy for happiness because you're a whole lotta nothing of nothingness, yours always.

as of late
july 8th, 2008

my winter heart subsides elsewhere.. but you are an outbreak of warmth,
reciting emotions, recite, recite, recite, recite.
all of my tears have turned to summer and i miss everything.

every breath just adds up, to the moisture on your ceiling, to the spirals on your finger tips.
do yourself a favor. don't look at the sky from down here, look down at the sky, then i'll make perfect sense to you.

this medicating needs to end.

list of releases i've been on

BLOODFIST
genre: grindcore
description: a brief project i made when i was like 14, recorded songs, did a split, got featured on a compilation.
http://www.soundclick.com/bloodfist

late 2005
bloodfist/national whore crisis split
format: 3" cd/vinyl cd-r
songs:
01. 001
02. 002
03. 003
04. 004
05. 005
06. 006

late 2006
einsteinium records: drum machine compilation #3
format: cd-r
songs:
05. death by
06. get fucked
07. stabbed in the stomach going upward

CRUSADES
genre: hardcore
description: a band in the vein of chokehold and cursed
http://www.myspace.com/crusadeshardcore

late 2006
crusades demo
format: cd-r
genre: hardcore
songs:
01. to an end
02. crusades/what it's worth
03. burning bridges
04. mind expansion

early 2007
crusades 7"
format: 7"
genre: hardcore
songs:
side a
01. pandora's box
02. burning bridges
side b
03. mind expansion
04. building blocks

late 2007
crusades discography
format: cd-r
genre: hardcore
songs:
01. swimming in shit
02. bleeding heart
03. never ending line (version 1)
04. left for dead (left for dead cover)
05. i can only hope
06. what remains
07. homeland security
08. never ending line (version 2)
09. pandora's box
10. burning bridges
11. mind expansion
12. building blocks
13. to an end
14. crusades/what it's worth
15. burning bridges
16. mind expansion
tracks 01 - 06 are from the discography sessions, tracks 07-08 are unreleased, tracks 09-12 are on the 7", tracks 13-16 are on the demo

NARRATORS
genre: screamo
description: a screamo band i started in august of 07. we have only released one demo, probably my biggest accomplishment in music so far.
http://www.myspace.com/narrators

late 2007
narrators demo
format: cd-r
songs:
01. sailing softly
02. girls hockey team
03. ...of the dead
04. those who don't matter, don't mind. those who don't mind, don't matter

summer 2008
narrators tour demo
format: cd-r
songs:
01. sailing softly
02. girls hockey team
03. ...of the dead
04. those who don't matter, don't mind. those who don't mind, don't matter
05. untitled
06. ramza beoulve

HOMESICK
genre: hardcore
description: a hardcore band in the vein of ceremony, spazz, charles bronson
http://www.myspace.com/homefuckingsick

spring 2009
homesick/rumours split
format: cassette
songs:
01. end times
02. parasites
03. failed state

writings - 2006 to 2008

good afternoon.. this is my first contribution to blogspot
i decided to make one to post a collection of writings/bands/video games/anything i'm interested in that i don't particularly want to share over a newfoundland journal called "bluekaffee"
basically, this is more accessible to the public.. where i feel it should be and not within a small circle of friends.

thus starting this blog, here are a collection of writings i have made over the past years
most of these are random psychobabble about girls, school, shitty people, scene kids, girls, depression, anxiety, heartache, girls, pornography, failing, confusion, loss, girls, winter, summer, fall, spring, girls..
yeah, you get the point

enjoy.

harpon
june 15th, 2008

we get closer yet the wounds grow larger than the cardiac clench i crippled myself into, staying speechless with my everything hooked on your dragging away from me

oscillate
june 14th, 2008

i don't know how i became half ocean, i guess i've lost 10% of myself to roots gnawing away my bones. did i mention i'm half machine? the iron raft rusts a cream ivory lost in few inches high, don't blink because it's not as pretty as every second i see myself in you. every other was how i got there. fuck.

reference papers
june 8th, 2008

let's all go to the pretentious art convention. my eyes were pecked out by crows in the year of zero, christ didn't help me either. hey stewardess, ask them if they can fly a boeing 787

0999
june 8th, 2008

you are the stain of my mono cigarette digestive personality, the ever so "oh fuck, this feels so wrong" conscience moral decision seeping through your filthy lens, the noise of wolves being torn apart by black sheep black sheep black sheep, i could never find my lips in that empty room

openjune
june 1st, 2008

virgin kites strangled in stasis, we are delicate for open wounds. seven years crushed in a day, guts monologue listless savior fuckfest. break open the sky and you'll find me withering. a bleak and desaturated tilt with respiration, gloom comes on colored film

think positive
may 19th, 2008

second to reach first but first to reach last,
etc. life haunted, sleeping keys to kids demises,
current still life tabulate words running on low slopes,
thrown together irregular, solemnly productive,
makeshift graves are all the rage, cursed on your beliefs
i'll never live up to fireworks
"he stares into your soul"

vain
may 12th, 2008

intellectually connected to a network of shit
no longer feeling like a apart of myself
hit and miss relationships bring egotistical punches
eat the map and bleach your skull
'cause, we're all dealing with your neon claws
"so, smoke weed and hail satan"
you have governed your razors
and you have thrown a storm
but what will you own when your world is in ashes?

autobiographical
may 10th, 2008

i feel sick,
nap and erase, sleep life away
soaring sore dreams, needled and threaded
waking up with empty stomachs
routine network logic.
real feelings and free refills,
finite coated hearts and frostbites,
bad endings and limitless more,
and i'll never feel any better.

jeal
may 8th, 2008

growing up and giving me the chills, antics in wavelength
if i could i would warm myself with reassurance,
but there isn't a "try" that comes without guilt.
you give me volume for sleep,
rest postage, littered stamps and aces
heather gray fog slip motion, wipe it from your face
7 am, swallow

stare
april 27th, 2008

i know.. it's blurry, it's not the same
wash the color out, wet newspaper sleeves
pale blue veins, silk rugs, ivory architecture
breathe the percent into, it's yours.
you refract through me making the gleaming negatives
mischarged and discarded art, angels drip from my hands
this is medical necessity

xv
april 16th, 2008

why do i try to bring out the ghost in you?
the haunting hours will make me an author,
linguistic noir in your blue stare.
we're a demi, the cider backwash to swallow
pigeon; scavenger, past time passives
felines will follow the organ of sight to blind eye
salivate on white.

untitled
april 13th, 2008

there aren't enough songs about rejection out of a pity filled heart exploding over my inequalities and numbered phrases completely estimated and stood corrected my veins are compensating my loss of eyes and grey surrounded lullaby labyrinths puzzle puzzles puzzled and yeah love will tear us apart

some words in french
april 6th, 2008

you're nothing but a whore that sexually synapses every nerve till peach grey fertility swallowing motion feed applicative pills dragging every rooted dug up hole in my stomach lived to choke expansions off of youth built to breathe from a hive to make armies on their backs creating generations of low paramnesia is killing me but you're already dead

church officer/graveyard maintenance
april 2nd, 2008

ten times more heart ex blonde glitter disaster princess how deep can you really sink such planets end shortly and i'm choking on finding enough words to compensate mechanical minds to a halt you are the ever so epitome of rome ablaze stare to the stars when your wounds retract like your nail clipped friends against paper thin speech

c inspired
march 28th, 2008

steady the results,
i asked myself "what do i have to come home to?"
laying in a bed with enough gears in my eyes to make me want to shut everything off and collapse permanently
a warm blue cotton to numb me forever
and distant heart left at home
my hands are in igros
my feet are in dorter
fort zeakden is doomed.

mediator
march 15th, 2008

set course, composite of the future!
it consists of many casings.
an evolved, robotic form of mediator,
decorating your veins, pulmonary stars,
dim lit bulbs like leftover christmases
page lettings and expiry dates.
i am alone

friday
march 7th, 2008

you're at the end of focal length,
the barrel width slap with the tokyo hair passés and stale cigarette wells.
symmetries behind archaic walls, colorfully nauseating,
permeating millimeters of mirrors and portraiture.
adorable adoring material to try on and to throw away,
tell me i'm littered

valentines day
february 14th, 2008

the mindless get everything,
the ones who do not think for themselves are the sparkling worth to society, the cream of the crop, the ever so "enlightening" and "pretty".
i'm tired of these glittery, pink and bright sights that are "girls".
95% which of possess about as much knowledge as the heart of the corporate leaders of their brand name shoes, stockings, corsets, dresses, whatever you want to call them.

fraudulent
february 13th, 2008

to the light spiels in burning hue,
snow covered tango threaded walks..
like mauve lipstick on gleaming lips
purchased to lead a thousand weak,
a golden shimmer of a reflective yes,
in eyes.. spoke the words "i will never understand rejection"
i am caught up in burgundy limbs and ultraviolet magnetism
unperceived

emergency stairwell
february 7th, 2008

the unmeasurable torsion post kinetic,
ghostly values of dis ease,
anxiety submerged,
in pale blue, almost white.
critical skeptics inamorata led me
advertising adversity, i'm aphotic..
i'm casting holy seraphic fiction.

bahamut
january 28th, 2008

silence at speeds of lifestreams and our "out of character forte"
but we'd be better off breathing aquatic,
for i am a gem of the major arcana sea,
with enough thoughts to define non living.
belts of haste stumbling upon the supertonic,
the unadjusted memories wrap around your waist.
you have sclera of a falling sky,
the one i can't hold up.

1:10
january 19th, 2008

4 seconds in the gutter of your relationships, how many more adolescent? as i string a chord of ruined chatter.. unjust, poetic and cursed, our rhymes aren't living up to any expectations.. polka dots in intervals of three.. you'll never get it, what's the worst that could happen?

the feeling never ends
january 10th, 2008

gracefully placed on rainbow roads, your bone gnomes
from the careful cinders come embers, come home
gleeds are set aglow, my glees grow
a golem that refuses to mow.
a sight that only eyes could sew.

stretched, stitched and stressed
catched, hitched and dressed

wide open in my web waiting to break

pitiscus
january 6th, 2008

arid,
you'll always think back!! cause i'm at your ankles.
wake up and dress the edge of the world
because to me, shallow is deeper
the rocks are my marvel,
craters, give me bones back
onna

ubusuna
january 4th, 2008

giving it all up for the refreshing low
you'll never success "new"
cause we're too shy to be blind
and i'm feeling antique, as if mapped out
look, the colors scream it out for me!
gimme an r, spell out the obvious
the synopsis is critical.

the herald appendage
december 28th, 2007

white on repeat for miles like an insufficient drive
we fail to synchronize.. so on and so forth
when everything starts to dissonate,
my eyes look more and more like winter
and i don't want to be a storm
i don't want to have to say anything at all
finish him

ramza
december 22nd, 2007

hey! the climate saddened a little.
split ends, not quite the fracture,
slave clocks controlled by impulses
as torpedoes and explosives relay back,
like speaking through your addictions.
racing towards the infinite abyss,
my heart is the stimulate in your blood.
wolves always fall for sheep.

december 20th
december 20th, 2007

i could scream an entire symphony
only to tell myself how far away you are from me
in chains of angels halos
in context with lunar properties
the 17 percent of myself
the polar desert in depth
patron of negativity, publisher of humanity
this is more of a message.

ernd
december 9th, 2007

i breathe four through the speeding atmosphere
oh sweet immanence like claws of beauty
just living the days for the holy yes
praising life in endless subtext
we'll look right at each other,
sleeping all fucking day
this is almost as meaningless as 11:11
the wool of your feathered wish

december 4th
december 4th, 2007


i can't see what you see,
the pyramids tell me so.
i can't feel what you feel,
my conscious tells me so.
i can't hear what you hear,
the birds tell me so.

love struck,
lost and stabbed like lions fed to thieves
distilled and dilated.

so much for carbon copies,
allies,
bookmarks,
swarms,
trees,
lice.

the farther stretch for the standards too high,
allo.

freebase forms
december 2nd, 2007

my friends overdose on their own thoughts
often wondering what it'd be like to be talentless
standing free form, staring into rivers
independently depending on stars
comparing celebrities to suns,
but moons to beggars
more so lying on the sea than under it
we all say "one day"
..only to forget the night
kinetic.

crushes
december 2nd, 2007

riffs obstruct and minds abrupt,
my legs are struck, i'm all shook up
i'd give you towers
like building a ship to reach the end of time
a progress in work, only to learn how to stop
my heart speaks more, at least lately
act upon impulses acting upon impulse
i cleared my head, just so i could wish
and only to wish of you!

sex, sex, celexa
november 30th, 2007

today i calculated a careers musical fusion through charades,
learning the english language through responsive interrogative moods
up to the 40, lucid and bright
cardiac vibrate and irate spindles
to believe? i must say, i cannot
delphinium gold

fwd: fwd:
november 28th, 2007

today i am irritable, condense my words to the point of rests
citizens like crowned vandals, every muscle a frown
the day passes like the unsetting sun, set to the variable
batteries make up my prepubescent spine
dig low, like my inner skin!
breathe high, mediterranean tide!
deep in the fragile.

give me my libido back
november 24th, 2007

still, alarmed, calm, like a repetitive reverie
wake up and feel nothing
go to sleep and feel something

nauseous and cautious, completely unmovable
you care as much as my religion
disguised, silent, ready

if only things were real because this is simply surreal
closer than a few days away from forever
cold, unsteady and sick.

temperature, temperature, temperature
adorno, how i love you so.
give me my libido back.

twelfth
november 21st, 2007

piecing my hands around a clear crystal piece,
like a puzzle breathing everyone i ever knew,
every try,
rusty faucets pour tears,
spinning but not becoming sick,
this new miracle,
liner notes all over my heart,
this is a friendship in all of it's beauty,
i am every living cell,
living in this hole,
the handles are broken,
i'm on my way back,
brown, grey, white and coffin colored.

prosti
november 19th, 2007

you are gregorian
like a nail in hand relay, a cancer ozone
every breath i breathe in minutes
seeing you through plastic
a faint view of doves, like snow
to wear or wash away, spoken in statue
oh mon dieu, demi, demi
it's no longer christmas in the 90's

ad
november 14th, 2007

i am the satellites circling the orbit
i am the life surrounding the earth
you dance like seas while i become space
you sing like trees while i become matter
researching the abstract
researching the binary
like ships in the ruins of galaxy
like cradles in the lights of the ways
he portrayed a lonesome caressing movement, not quite a waltz but more of a mirror
she portrayed a slim silhouette hugging the cold ground, not quite a mirror but more of a waltz
ugly.

expression
november 12th, 2007

set the tone lavender, like a pedal covering the sun, tinting the earth
you have your own stars for eyes, they shine so bright
it's like a light that stays in view, only forever
to be greeted by clouds as expressed by a sigh
the comfort of coats between skin and a warm current
a welcome from a beating heart and a thank you to touch
i wanna hear your voice.

narrator
november 5th, 2007

nothing there for me in the sands
the clocks run back, completely unknown and unaware
a theater that doesn't open or close
you see the picture
you call it art, i call it life
precociousness of proximity
dissatisfied and destroyed
sincerely

coarse
november 3rd, 2007

this morning i saw the perfect sky arched across a miserable plane
and every citalopram in my body doesn't block eyes
in gears of color and blinding ache seen through
every word from your red hue shade drains the life out of me
whether i decide to let it, or not
lost in a greener more white apocalypse, i fall in.. stop.

learning how to scream
october 28th, 2007

with hopes so high i can create rope on my fucking knees.. for the walls in my room are forever mazed.. leaving me amazed, choking on my slip of tongue. the messages to you are never received, ever. i was in that photo booth with you

paths
october 20th, 2007

a) the fire and passion in hearts fades, media takes over.. so step aside, a bit of advice can convince you to change your ways. change for nothing. you my friend are beautiful, please keep it at that. the ratio of correct paths is endless to endless and i know how weak most stand. the strength in vandals reigns supreme, so step aside, a lot of advice and convince you to be someone else. change for no one.

b) the machine is down the way, every floor tile occupied for miles. a pretty penny waits for you on the other side, a set of eyes accompanied. watch them transform, watch them soar. brightly colored eagles fall from the sky as the vultures eat them up. dead.

cnn
october 17th, 2007

the freedom of self expression, telling tales of the ball and chain along with pride in ruination of character and/or recovery verses. ranked infinite in blue imagery lay bipolar bears and gleaming stares to mark in glares, stolen from yourself and others. the setting is rather dull, grey skys and endless oceans covering the earth. you grant life lifeless, inspire mean meaning and embrace hope hopelessly. i wish you a wave of thorns and endless galaxies of suffering. forever continuing to destroy your every purpose of existence through time signatures

ery
october 14th, 2007

thinking of things like worlds without rings, where coffins sing and people will bring themselves as colors and not shades. you and your tongue are blades, they won't keep them amused. progressively grown tired of news and every little event that spews, in a room full of few, i have a good view. the walking mindless walk miles, sorting through files of kissing dismissing situations blown out of proportion

thunderous
september 30th, 2007

goddamn it and your refusal, you're like 2 and 1
my rusted veins painting violins at hand and violence on key
like a hideous tidal on trial, trying to think of an adjective to describe it
grown up and sitting in your desk
i seriously can't write anymore

sailing softly
september 30th, 2007

like every star we'll never see, through your nose, closed and posed like the skeletons that are on your tv, chose, bellows from my throat like extended ivy and back around my chest, crushing me and forcing your life the best, knee deep in the dead, you're thrown to red, i'm like to you, a horse in through.. the ring, gloves, yelling and victories

those who don't mind
september 10th, 2007

the blue that runs off my vest, the ten thousand men that pull together these chains, the ocean of orchids and the still ripple within them. i remember the day when the sun exploded, we were staring right into it, but you created morning and you created this. we wake up in hotels, we sleep in ruins

...of the dead
september 4th, 2007

this is my application to heaven and until you lose your fingers we're in hell. why are you allowed to speak? queen of decay, digger of graves, no longer do you live for the dead.

untitled
august 25th, 2007

you're content and articulate, but your friends speak of murder
i can only imagine how focused your hands are, fuck you.

untitled
august 12th, 2007

me and my blue screen worlds are far far away from yours, you're bi and your eyes are polar, we all have forked tounges anyway.

logarithmic
june 28th, 2007

unsettledly eating glass
through rib cages, fractures
through ligaments, conjointed
a condition theory speaks
inadequately insured as always
invinciblity uninsured

continuum
april 30th, 2007

your cells quite doomish child as cold as the gods hammer flooding bay passing out weapons as straws so null so dull so trill and thrown off wake up swim breathe repeat

tan
april 29th, 2007

rusted walls surround the unlimited number of vaccines for unknown auras
my throne extends milleniums like hair of gods
unformed, unbirthed, untought
trained by naked eyes we clothe
forever relaxing, relaxed
take my tounges and fingers, paint the walls tan

despised
april 20th, 2007

often discussed with underwater imagery
tsunamis
100 feet tall cement feet logic,
split second thoughts of respiration
but this is home.
the train makes one last stop
a girl named ending
throw your arms and beg
open your arms and question
i am your 5:00 news, early/late updates

00101101
april 8th, 2007

i'm willing to dream forever out of my skull legs are nonexistant my fingers rigor stiff dead frequency in line decibels: silent become life distilled melt sleep pattern

girls hockey team
april 7th, 2007

i woke up this morning to a warm weather's cold nostalgia sometimes makes me feel non existant i wish i had your picture perfect glasses and your comfort forever you'll be one of the most important comas to sleep to

philo
march 18th, 2007

a lament speaks for i am at thy summit spoken in curse but what's more original then tritoning every beautiful piece but it's what fascinates the unfascinated are the boring the mysterious are the fascinated are unfascinated in time so riddle your faux pas manners into a caccoon and sleep away while i monarch accepting the lowest form of hierarchy in observation observating simply the mania of eternal diamonds no not lsd.

meteor
march 17th, 2007

i'll lay in a pit of my own disgust
filth will be my new alveoli
lobes will turn black
lungs will become solid shadows
silhouettes will become me
breaths will become smoke
hair will become tar
maybe then will the tattoo of islands flee
i'll drown in the petty ink that i always hated as a kid
you're just the porn star i'm lucky enough to know, always so delicate but untouchible

clash ion break
march 11th, 2007

calculations of panic adding limerance
through the blender of a depression circuit
constructed by the cold hands of a liar/regretful hypomanic
only wanting trust from the angel that stands by him in hell
the last stand is still millions of miles away
and don't promise yourself you're catching up to it

portrait
march 9th, 2007

you refer to yourself as doom
what are the lights in your eyes
impending to end all, beauty pending.
locket cut, amulet dropped
but of course, on your own time.
puzzle yourself to gross structural damage
your keys are the earth,
science fiction texts often mention the concept of dimension

sailing 2
february 27th, 2007

i'm so tired of notes weighing reminders
how many things do i have to name after you
every thing i spoke sent me away

sailing 1
february 23rd, 2007

at your front door, a bear
in your front seat, a kite
at your back door, a grave
in your back seat, a flag
lets dig up the academy kids
lets build ourselves a past

#32
february 10th, 2007

escalating as passion crosses out the most important six letters
i don't expect anymore aprils or junes
changing everything in a few days
as much as i hate counterparts i can breathe again
as ruined as this is, i'll send my prolonged xs, os and thank yous

repeat
february 6th, 2007

when i take a photo and send it to forever it'll still stand at nothing
for the earth has been here longer than anything we ever thought of or cease to think.
when will we learn to learn from our mistakes and to create our own,
when will we learn that theres nothing left but parasitism and greed.
waiting for something that'll never come, never,
i'll take a photo of this and send it to forever

grab the camera

cardiac
january 30th, 2007

the director of parasitic thought by morning hands
the sea of vomitose and guilt
my hands frozen, my eyes delusional
we can't help but not know nothing
just accept, accept this.

a facultative of human trains brought by gifts of a brood, external, external, external
i am obligate without responce, a clockwork piercing ray
the internal explodes, leaving me with.

thought
january 23rd, 2007

i'll sit on wood until the roots wrap me up and pull me through the floor, every door that opens is a new shade to the dim

the scrollbar keeps going down, more errors, more images that you can't find that you want to see, the colors aren't the same, the resolution is too large, the writing seems to have changed.. not what you remembered it, maybe another language, however you don't know. the email links are all gone, my research on the 9 stages of hell can't be completed, fuck. i don't know where i'm going anymore, my computer crashes, i fall back in awe and cross my arms. i grab a cup of coffee and become the hypercondriac that i really am, waltzing away to melodies that only my ears can handle. the wood pulls me through the floor, i can't see anything. i'll write jane doe in ink down here a million times, until she pulls her way through this mess. she'll rescue me like an angel, an angel. i only need to see you once and i'm good forever. thats all i'm used to, all i've ever known. the horrors of everything disgust me, but you shine through like a goddess, or god himself.
after this brink memory i feel ok, i feel back to myself. living by a tattoo of "love your friends, die laughing" the imprint of my skull passes on, and on. i'm just history, nothing more, nothing less.

three times
january 23rd, 2007

the only form of rest i know
a binaric loss to me
killing my a false vanity is all you care about
my temperature drops but people are still breathing
i hope you feel important
you're the luckiest one around.
"love always, your friend"

vampire
january 20th, 2007

i'm more passionate than others
duplicates make me sick
fuck your reciprocity
why bother in the first place
there's only natural and poetic beauty
vampires deserve neither

#30
january 18th, 2007

where's my breath of fresh air?
i presyncope to sight
everyday, you're lux lisbon
every single fucking day.
pyrexia state, pyrexia state.

#29
january 7th, 2007

acute longing for reciprocation is written everywhere
you are invinciblity, you are death
and limerance in my veins is a warm blanket
i left because you spoke up.. but did i?

#28
december 27th, 2006

a significance of a diamond ring, wrapped, pretty, glorious
this avatar is the rapid oxidation of fuel
you're david lynch's lost highway for the first time
text is subtile and imagery is weak
i'm so fucking scared

spade
december 20th, 2006

god could be lifted but he'd turn blue and our world would become cellular
"but"
no buts,
discussed.

heart
december 20th, 2006

why is the manupilative still bones on wood,
responding would be a period of time marked infinite.
equivalent to cancer?

#27
december 17th, 2006

injected was too much hope canceling out every movement
body parts like clay at stomach level
they learn how to move at a rate of 3.16
everyone can see through as my eyes freeze
i become this city's reservoir

#26
december 9th, 2006

she posted a new memory, its a grim reminder of a hand and everything it'll always be.
oh how such a hex could be important
my lips kissed a furnace while my legs were broken
notice:
a firewall in life exists to the ones that turn it on
my organs are claustrophobic

-
imagine someone telling you
"just remember, i can name twenty guys that would kill to love me"
good ol' converge samples.

#25
november 18th, 2006

i give my hands and feet for more time
and my arms and legs for more words
i'm rather tired of expressing myself in silence
stuck in imagination
heading towards a medical state
this is just the mad philosophers dream
and the nucleus of a vacuum
...the girls we love

#24
november 15th, 2006

define me a past participle since i've neglect to behave appropriately
what makes up of an attraction or desire of a longing responce
my mind could not be anymore equal or just
watch me turn the sun dial away
its all just bullshit code
i gave away my best cards for looseleaf marked: hope

#23
november 4th, 2006

i never sleep for my mind is comatose and my body only tastes salt.
reality self concious retrospective, i wish.
for the only girl in my life is accessible packets transmitted to lights and flashes.
maybe its just one of these "twenty years ago" belongings.
or now a days said, "fucked"
in a sense you've become retina.
-----------------------------------


its been over a month
i kept thinking.

#22
october 1st, 2006

fingertips running in an emotional pattern
the sky pisses away the day, but it dosn't matter
every word is on fucking repeat
music was written in her name
we'll find your dna on boys like me
because you mended passion and strings
and drums set on heartbeats
how did it feel to create blind rage?
and why did you make yourself the last image we'll ever see?

#21
october 1st, 2006

i really have to stop marching
the train isn't going to my destination
these shoes aren't the right size
this seat is uncomfortible
that dress dosn't belong to you
and this is all i could think about
slip into white skin and blue fingers
belonging in dreams

i won't settle for the sky
september 27th, 2006

i noticed you're still sitting there
and the wind carries away my speech
will it meet you?

you know i can't leave
skys breathes aren't intense like this.

did we really document the months?
nothing was documented
i was never here.

once upon a time,
everything looked like you
beautiful.

one
september 16th, 2006

adjust the robot,
add the oil serenade
delouse the swarm,
burn the bridges.
fuck what you believe in
i am the head of automation
make me the moth,
make me the king.

#20
september 3rd, 2006

i can't fuck everything
unfortunely; you are.
puking up human emotion over and over
time is metaphorical
this is why forever is dead.
i love you is a drink that runs dry
i am empty

#19
september 2nd, 2006

calm down
wrapped in blonde
whipped to blue
iris' a blaze
pierce me.
embers at no comparison
the avatar turns pale
everything was said and done
tears mending vowels
reconstruct the longing..
my heart, a trainwreck
when will this end?

#18
september 2nd, 2006

my name is intrigued
i've met trend
next arrival: love
hush, i know i'm late
this is the end of the world
you've made my pockets tight
i am still shadowed
pretty, please step away from the light?

#17
august 31st, 2006

you are the sunset
i will destroy the sunrise
material stretching
my defeat is awake
bring me the head
drained of everything
hope was written on a car crash

your words
august 31st, 2006

i'm glad we met
you are a mere outlet
hurt to relief
you made me what i am
i will continue to destroy text
melody, watch the fuck out

#16
august 29th, 2006

at last a dream
what it should of been
memory flees the scene
the letter unfolds
theres nothing there
the picture develops
theres nothing there.
burn this agenda marked friend

#15
august 29th, 2006

they say the best way to get to a man is through the woman he loves
let the nostalgia run on home
welcome it with open arms
because nothing you told me will run away
there is no such thing
lets exchange glances
one sided
and it always will be

hey pretty
august 26th, 2006

sixteen years
fallen from the hay
none of this can compare
i taste
you set the scales
lets balance joy
we meet
skin and keys, skin and keys
leopard print fuck fantasy
hell yeah, the metronome breaks
i am rid of every flaw

#14
august 16th, 2006

i was in your arms
to bad i held too tight
you threw me against the ashfault
posing for cameras that'll only turn to dust
the fake touch of your palm felt like victory
and my lucky awakening surpassed defeat
this is real
this is so real.

#13
august 15th, 2006

rising towards my neck
i'll never stop walking
deep fucking aqua
loss of breath
mabye i'll see you down here
mabye i'll be the reason of ink loss in your pen
rest, finally.

#12
august 15th, 2006

another hour passed of saying a name that isn't worth a click.
my robot walks up to my front door and asks for a refund.
i don't expect anything from you but a fucking tidal wave.
i've completely mistaken you for a curse, sorry.

#11
august 11th, 2006

i)
why bother
you're at my throat

he says:
i'm soaked to the skin
i'm breathing your flesh
i want the silk that is you

he witnesses:
shipwrecks, sex, sadistics
disasters, diseases, discourage

ii)
grip isn't a command
these 10 seconds of falling are too long

#10
august 3rd, 2006

i miss pre birth
weakness
wires are running up my veins
flesh is the paper
hate is the ink
i can only sit and watch
becoming white
losing stance
loss of sit
gain of stone

#9
july 10th, 2006

breaking keyboards with their teeth
it sounds so refreshing
i don't know if i'm sad or happy
we sit here in dust
your cold hands meet my warm hands
i am the slut
you are the god

#8
july 10th, 2006

i've never picked a prettier flower
your nectar runs like a euphoric dream
the trail of your skin feels pretty
i flee this place called life
you lay me down as a ghost
i rise in ruin

#7
july 9th, 2006

i wrote
"lets just hold each other forever"
the past is most definitely imperfect
and there is no now.
your knees digging into my chest
my hands touching against your breasts
shed them again, again, and again.

#6
july 6th, 2006

i love how you push it deeper
are you loving or hurting me?
i'm trying to take grip but theres nothing there
where is my touch
i've found my loss
our last breath is the epilogue

#5
july 5th, 2006

you told me dreams will stay dreams if you don't take action
all i had was hope, fire, embers and ash
i'm a cold being cradled by your warmth
it came true and its nothing i ever wanted

#4
june 26th, 2006

if i could uplift your emotion
i would
because you don't deserve to feel the way i do
no matter how hard you hold me
or how you make me smile
it dosn't matter because your trying to find someone who isn't alive anymore

#3
june 22nd, 2006

godspeed his guilt
godspeed
i'm meeting it over and over
i don't understand what you're saying
but could you please raise your voice?
nothing but silence in ringing ear

#2
june 22nd, 2006

smashing the glass again
it reforms
into your eyes
then precious awe strengthened her grip
reform
then kiss dread again

#1
june 22nd, 2006

i cringe at your name
injecting your lyric, your rhyme, your scheme.
my plane is on his way down and he's meeting the mermaid in the middle of the ocean
but only now do you make sense
cheers, to me and to i.